Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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