dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
