Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
