Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
