im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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