oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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