A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Randomize
