Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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