nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Randomize
