Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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