Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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