Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
We left the knife in your bed.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
