So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
