you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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