Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
