Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Rumble strips road head = magical
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
