My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
