Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
You've changed since you got that strap on
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
