Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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