I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
