You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
