Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
