wake up i wanna do it froggy style
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
