So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
