she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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