I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize