just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
