I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
