I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
