I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
