I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
