she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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