nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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