Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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