Why are handjobs necessary in class?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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