I wish my penis had an off switch
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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