Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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