Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
PANTIES FOUND
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