I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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