actually, I'm a sock model
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Randomize
