New invention idea: vibrating tampons
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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