We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
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