I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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