i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Randomize
