I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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