Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I don't think brook has ever known best
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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