But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
