oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I should be sponsored by Trojan
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
