i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
