why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
