How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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