I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
