I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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