bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
zippers are such a cool invention
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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