she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
