I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize