And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
He kissed a someone with a penis
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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