Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
