Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
