The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize