i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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