I'd wear matching sweaters with you
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
why do cheetos always look like penises
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
