THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
