ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
