And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
